Ahh...finally

I have a family blog where I post pictures and give updates on being a stay at home mom, but I don't feel comfortable giving out samples of my personal self there. I needed my own where I could control whom I tell about it. Whoever gets it after that is fair game, and I don't have to know about them reading it. It's the anonymity of thinking no one reads it that'll get me to write.

If you've ever taken one of those personality tests that are out there, you've probably encountered the question "Would you rather have a large circle of aquaintences or a small group of close friends?" I always answer "a small group." I'm very much an introvert. I don't like crowds...they make me tired. I don't like making small talk...I get nervous that I'll sound dumb. I would rather be at home alone than meeting new people. I avoid situations where I won't know anyone.

I was very proud of myself the first time I would eat lunch in a restaurant by myself. It was after a doctor's appointment on the plaza...I went to the Cheesecake Factory during a busy time! I had brought some work along so that I wasn't sitting there staring at people, which of course prompted my server to ask if I was doing homework. Rather than make him feel bad about mistaking a corporate drone for a college student, I just smiled and said "yeah." See? I'm socially inept. I guess I'm not so socially inept thought, because I do have a small group of close friends. Miracoulsly I've found some people that don't think I'm mean or stupid, and they've helped me become a more social person for it.

I do like to be social sometimes though. For example, I'm really looking forward to a night at a B&B with my knitting girls. I love this group, because it just sort of formed with no emphasis on it. It wasn't like those new friendships where you have to make the effort and think "okay, did I call her last time, or did she call me?" It just sort of happened, which makes it all the better. There's no drama or cliques, but there's plenty of deep discussions and sharing, which makes it unique in my opinion.

I'll end this post with a disclaimer. Hopefully I won't offend or freak out anyone with subject matter in the future, but I'm going to talk about whatever pops into my mind when I have the opportunity to write. Sometimes it's my phobias or weaknesses, or it may be snippets of the spiritual journey I'm on. Whatever it is, I'll say welcome, voyeurs.